The most important thing in the world is family and love. ~ John Wooden
I have had a challenging week physically, and I was beginning to feel like I was just trying to make it from one day to the next. I was giving everything I had to my students and my responsibilities at school (which I love) and then finding that I had no energy left in the evening to do much of anything.
My husband doesn’t get home from work until after six these days, so we eat dinner later now. By the time dinner is cleaned up and lunch is packed (or thought about at least) I am just about ready for bed. I was beginning to feel a disconnect from my husband and the world.
Today was different. Chuck and I spent the whole day together. We ran errands and got some things accomplished around the house. We ate breakfast, lunch, and dinner together. We talked to both of our adult children and more importantly to each other. It was wonderful! Tonight I am going to sleep feeling renewed and reconnected.
Happiness consists not in having much, but in wanting no more than you have. ~ Lydia M. Child
This word prompt comes from The Five Minute Friday website for Christian writers. As I began reflecting on the word MORE, I thought about all the times I felt like I needed to be more, have more, do more in order to be what the world expected. There were times in my life when I felt “less than” because I believed that others in the world were more, had more, accomplished more than me. It took me a long time to learn to love my life just as it was at any given moment.
I don’t need more…
things to clutter up my home.
clothes to shove in my closet and be forgotten.
friends on social media
TV programs to mindlessly watch
credit card debt
I need more
smiles and laughter
days with my grandchildren
time with my husband
“playdates” with my close friends
meals shared together around the table
It also reminded me of a book I love to read to my students, Just Enough and Not Too Much by Kaethe Zemach. In this story, Simon the fiddler lived in a cozy little house and had everything he needed. One day he looked around and wanted more, so he started amassing a great quantity of different things until his house became too cluttered. He invited many friends over for a party. When the party was over he encouraged his friends to take all of his excess belongings. In the end Simon the fiddler was happy once more because he had just enough and not too much.
I strive to be like Simon – wanting just enough and not too much.
Unanswered questions aren’t threats: they’re challenges and catalysts. ~ Colin Wright
How can the student who never notices the homework assignments on the board
be the same student who sees the first snowflake and announces it to the entire class?
How can the paper I looked for five times in the pile on my desk
be the same paper that showed up on search number six?
How can the earring that has been missing for a month
be the same earring that turned up in the pocket of my robe?
How can the outfit I put on for work and felt good in the this morning
be the same outfit I was roasting in by the time I got to work?
How can the bell bottoms and peasant shirts I wore in the 70s
be the same styles that are making a comeback 40 years later?
I don’t know how or why, but somehow they just are.
Don’t just count your years, make the years count. ~George Meredith
I “borrowed” this form from Elisabeth Ellington who “borrowed” it from Fran McVeigh.
Since last March, I joined the gym.
The gym where I meet my sister on Monday nights for Aqua Fit class
The gym where I look longingly at the machines my body can’t handle
The gym where I walk in the pool & count the laps back and forth, back and forth
Since last March, I lost my mom.
The mom who was just seven weeks short of her 91st birthday.
The mom who never complained about her ailments
The mom who was happy all the time and grateful for the littlest things
The mom who inspired the hashtag #livelikelucy
Since last March, I celebrated the 1st anniversary of my husband’s quadruple bypass.
The celebration that reminded us of how lucky we both were
The celebration that took us to Lancaster, PA to see Jon Dorenbos
(the inspiration for the trip to the ER) in person
Since last year, I turned 60.
60 the age I use to think was old
60 that came with a new awareness of time
60 the age that I am grateful I have reached
It’s the things we carry silently within ourselves which are the heaviest burdens. ~ John Mark Green
This morning we had a two hour delay. The drive to work was like a trip through a winter wonderland. That is until I took a closer look. Some of the trees were covered with snow that glistened in the morning sunlight, but others were not so tranquil looking. I noticed that some trees were bending and straining under the weight of the five inches of heavy wet snow that fell over night. Some even had broken limbs.
I started thinking about people and how many times we look around us only superficially. My students, my friends, my colleagues, people I just pass on the street or in a store – each of them may look carefree and happy, yet who knows if they are bending or straining under the weight of challenges? Who knows if they are feeling broken.
Sometimes we get so wrapped in our own lives that we may start thinking that we are the only ones with problems. Not that I think any of us should make light of our challenges, but we need to be aware that all is not what it seems and looks can be deceiving.
Today I learned another lesson from nature. As I go through my day, I will start to look around with a new found sense of wonder and compassion. Are there people who pass my way who need an ear to listen or a shoulder on which to cry? Are they bending and straining under an unbearable weight? Can I be the sunshine someone needs to melt some of that heavy burden? I hope so.
No winter lasts forever: no spring skips it turn. ~Hal Borland
Living in Pennsylvania you have to be ready for any kind of weather. One day you can have snow; the next it is sunny and 60 degrees. I wrote this tonight with the help of my daughter as we had a phone conversation commiserating about the falling snow and wishfully talking about warmer weather. So far, just a two hour delay for tomorrow, but I am guessing that could change.
Life is not a matter of milestones, but of moments. ~ Rose Kennedy
Last night my youngest grandchild, Nolan, used a fork for the first time. He is 17 months old and a little ball of energy. His face was so intent as he maneuvered his plastic fork into each piece of pear on his plate and carefully raised it to his awaiting mouth. I had a smile from ear to ear as he lifted his fork in the air and smiled and said, “Nona” in a “Hey,look at me” way.
I don’t remember if that was a milestone I wrote in his mother’s baby book or not. She was my first, so chances are it may be in there. I am sure it didn’t get into my son’s baby book because I was not as diligent the second time around.
I am not one of those moms who can remember how old each child was when he/she walked or talked or said a first word, but I do have so many memories. Some of them are firsts, but most of them are just everyday moments that are etched on my heart forever.
Educating the mind without educating the heart is like no education at all. ~Aristotle
Today I chaperoned a trip with some of my NJHS 7th and 8th graders to a local senior living facility. We were going there in honor of Read Across America Day. The 17 students spent their lunch recess perusing the many picture books I have in my classroom. Some brought their own favorites from home. We filled three canvas bags with books to be read in three different locations within the facility.
Together with a few parents we left after school to spend an hour reading and chatting with the residents. It was our first time there, so we didn’t really know what to expect. Upon arrival we split into three groups and went to our various locations.
I accompanied a group to the memory care unit. I have a very special place in my heart for those sweet souls. My mother spent almost two years on a floor just like this one in another facility. Since her passing in September, I relish my memories of her and the happiness that was brought to her by volunteers who visited her and played music, made crafts, or sang songs.
The staff brought in folding chairs so that the students could sit next to the residents who were in regular chairs or wheelchairs. They read their chosen stories and then either switched places or books with another student. We weren’t permitted to take pictures for legal and privacy reasons, but the faces of the kids and the residents will be etched in my memory for a long time.
They were sitting side by side reading or listening so intently. I watched as the seniors pointed to pictures and as students engaged them in the book. Some residents were more chatty than others; some were making the students laugh. I was grinning from ear to ear. I think I know now how the Grinch must have felt when his heart “grew three sizes that day.”
I am looking forward to our next visit in a couple of week. I hope this is the beginning of a long relationship of inter-generational camaraderie. One thing that did slip my mind in the nearly six months my mom has been gone is just how HOT these facilities are kept. I think next time we will be wearing school t-shirts instead of regular uniforms!!
“Whatever good things we build end up building us.” ~ Jim Rohn
When I started to think about the word build, I began to think about the things I have built and things I need to build.
Things I have built
A marriage – going on 39 years
A family– husband, two children and their spouses, four grandchildren, and my ever supportive siblings and their significant others.
A career – over 30 years of wearing various hats – elementary music teacher, middle school ELA teacher, college writing teacher, PD facilitator, tutor, writer
Friendships – a wonderful mix of high school & college friends, work colleagues, neighbors, PAWLP writing project colleagues, and of course my book club buddies – The Chapter Chicks.
Things I need to build
A better body – not for the look of it but for the feel. Aging definitely takes its toll, but I can do my part to stay strong and healthy.
Relationships – with people from whom I have drifted.
An organized home – Purging things collected over almost 40 years can be freeing.
Reading stamina – I am working on decreasing screen time and increasing read time.
I am grateful for the people and things who have had a part in building me into who I am today, and I look forward to experiencing the renovations and remodeling that will take place in my future.
Rita DiCarne 