A Life Sentence

~ rdicarne ~ 8 Comments

Chuck was not new to attending high school concerts. He told me his whole family went to watch his brother play trumpet in high school and college concerts and musicals, but I think he thought his concert days were behind him. Little did he know he would be an audience member for life!

Chuck was my biggest champion and cheerleader. He was present for my high school performances at St. Hubert’s and All-City Orchestra, where I played string bass. Then it was on to Chestnut Hill College, where I studied music. Chuck was present for every concert and my senior recital, always supporting my endeavors.

1974-1976 St. Hubert’s High School Orchestra and All-City Orchestra in Philadelphia

1976-1980 Chestnut Hill College Orchestra and Senior Recital

He must have breathed a sigh of relief on my graduation day, thinking that his concert-going days were behind him. But… once I began teaching music, Chuck attended my Christmas and Spring shows at whichever school I was teaching. He patiently sat through the singing and “acting” of K-8 students he did not know. This continued for the 25 years I taught music. Chuck couldn’t have been prouder.

1980-2012 Christmas and Spring shows at the schools where I taught

After we had our own children, it was dance recitals, elementary band concerts, and then eight straight seasons of marching band competitions and high school concerts. Chuck couldn’t have been prouder of his kids.

1984-1995 Angela’s dance recitals

1995-2003 Concert Band, Marching Band, and Indoor Drumline competitions for Angela and Charlie

He must have breathed a sigh of relief on graduation day, thinking that his concert-going days were behind him. But… Charlie studied music at Mansfield University. We took the three-hour trip to see as many concerts and events as we could. Chuck couldn’t have been prouder.

2003-2007 College concerts, recitals, and marching band shows

He must have breathed a sigh of relief on his graduation day, thinking that his concert-going days were behind him. But…Charlie became a music teacher, and we went to as many concerts as we could, especially when his jazz bands were performing. Chuck couldn’t have been prouder.

2008-2024 High School Concerts, at the various schools where Charlie taught.

But… then came the grandchildren. We would go to as many concerts and recitals as we could. Chuck couldn’t have been prouder.

2018-2025 Dance recitals for Emma and Isabella

2023-2025 Chorus, orchestra, and band concerts for Parker and Emma

Chuck was a lifer when it came to being an audience member watching his family perform or lead performances. I am sure he had no idea what he was signing up for 50 years ago, but I know he supported us and was proud of us.

Chuck may not be physically present for all the concerts to come for Parker, Emma, Izzy, and Nolan, but I am sure he will be telling everyone in heaven, “Hey, look. That’s my grandchild!” And I am sure he still couldn’t be prouder!

National Napping Day

~ rdicarne ~ 13 Comments

Napping is my superpower! I love taking naps, whether it’s a long, leisurely one, a purposeful power nap, or an unintentional “resting my eyes.” Imagine how surprised I was to find out that there is a National Day dedicated to celebrating napping!

“National Napping Day falls on the day after Daylight Saving Time starts up again. Every year, on the second Sunday in March, we “spring forward” by setting our clocks ahead an hour. In doing so, we lose an hour of sleep. The next day is Monday.”

Napping can be good for your health. Do you need a quick recharge? Then a short 10 to 30-minute nap is for you. Just be sure to set an alarm! Are you fighting an illness or trying ot catch up on sleep loss? Then a full 90-minute nap is what would serve you best. That way, you get a full sleep cycle.

The great thing about napping is that it doesn’t require any special equipment. You can nap in your bed, on the couch, or in the recliner. A blanket and a pillow are nice additions to a nap, but not a necessity. I am notorious for napping in the passenger seat of the car. A car ride used to lull me to sleep in minutes, but once I sought treatment for my sleep apnea, I was able to stay awake in the car much longer.

If you are a napper, you are in good company. Albert Einstein, Winston Churchill, and Leonardo da Vinci all indulged in power napping. So let today be a reminder to recharge and prioritize rest!

Finding Contentment

~ rdicarne ~ 6 Comments

It has been a long day, but a good day. It was a beautiful day, with temperatures in the 60s, and it felt delightful to shed the jacket.  

My sister and her husband took me to see a matinee of Starstruck at the Bucks County Playhouse, which sits on the banks of the Delaware River.  I hadn’t been to the playhouse in years and had forgotten how beautiful and peaceful it was to look out at the river. There is nothing like seeing and hearing live performances.

Dinner was at my son’s house for a postponed 12th-birthday celebration due to snow, with my oldest granddaughter. I enjoyed spending time with my kids and their families, my son’s in-laws, and their children. The kids’ laughter is infectious.  

The later sunset had me staying a little longer than I would have on a school night, but then I may have missed the chance to take pictures of the glorious sky!

I can’t lie: the ride home was bittersweet and ended in tears because I was missing Chuck.  Each time I attend something that we would have done together, it is a challenge.   But since I am working on finding joy each day, I did my best to focus on happy memories of the times we spent together.  It’s a work in progress.

Today is yet another example of how grief and joy walk side by side.

Breakfast of Champions

~ rdicarne ~ 6 Comments

Nothing takes me back to childhood like cereal, especially the sugary kinds. Growing up in the ’60s and ’70s, commercials during Saturday morning cartoons shaped my cereal choices.

Do any of you remember these classics? Some endured, others faded away.

Frosted Flakes (Tony the Tiger)

Fruit Loops (Tucan Sam)

Wheaties (The Breakfast of Champions)

Total (“100% daily value of 11 essential vitamins and minerals.”)

Cap’n Crunch

Quisp (a propeller-headed alien character)

Quake (a miner superhero)

Cocoa Puffs (Sunny, the Cuckoo Bird)

Kix (“Kid Tested. Mother Approved”)

Count Chocula (a cartoon vampire)

Cocoa Pebbles (Flintstones)

Sugar Smacks (Dig ‘Em Frog)

These are the brands that come to mind, but I wonder whether my siblings’ cereal memories would differ from mine. In those days, the cereal was floating in whole milk. These days, if I indulge in a bowl of sugary goodness (definitely not heart-healthy), the milk bath of choice is lactose-free!

Love in Song Titles

~ rdicarne ~ 11 Comments

Chuck was the biggest Elvis Presley fan I know, and through his love of “The King,” I became a fan too. Chuck liked to think he had Elvis’s dance moves, and I have to admit, he really could dance and was never afraid to let his moves loose on the dance floor.

For the longest time, Sunday mornings were synonymous with Elvis. Chuck would listen to the “Elvis & Friends” radio show hosted by Rockin’ Ron Cade and enthusiastically sang along. It aired from 7:00 to 10:00 AM, and he would listen after attending 7:00 mass – a faithful Catholic and a faithful Elvis fan.

One of our bucket list items was to travel to Memphis and visit Graceland when I retired. That trip will remain untaken, but I will keep listening to Elvis and maybe even sing along (as long as no one else is around to hear). When I hear Elvis, I hear Chuck serenading me, and it makes me smile.

Below is a snapshot of our love story told in Elvis Presley song titles. There is no sadness, just joy.

“Are You Lonesome Tonight?”
Yes, yes, I am. I am missing
the love of my life, Chuck,
and I had a “Blue Christmas” without him.
I am living in the “Heartbreak Hotel.”
Chuck was my “Teddy Bear” and is
“Always On My Mind.”

We were high school sweethearts.
And I was “All Shook Up”
after our first date.
I told my girlfriends that I
“Can’t Help Falling in Love” with him.
They had “Suspicious Minds,” but
I told them, “Don’t Be Cruel.”
I assured them that he wasn’t a
“Hound Dog,” and I wasn’t going to
“Return to Sender.”

“If I Can Dream,” I can remember
our “Burning Love” and how
he would “Love Me Tender.”
My beloved Chuck, I will
always remember
“The Wonder of You.”

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DAY 6

Happy Teacher Heart

~ rdicarne ~ 8 Comments

One of my favorite 7th-grade writing assignments is inspired by Encyclopedia of an Ordinary Life by Amy Krouse Rosenthal. Students brainstorm words about themselves and things they love on an ABC grid before writing their entries.

Yesterday was drafting day, and my first section of students had a double ELA block – 110 minutes.  Class began with the daily free write and checking homework.  Next, I reviewed the writing assignment instructions, put on some instrumental guitar music, and set the timer for 30 minutes. Then something amazing happened! The room fell silent, and EVERY student was engaged in writing for the ENTIRE 30 minutes.

When the timer went off, there were groans because the students didn’t want to stop writing!  Far be it from me to upset their writing mojo.  They wrote for another 35 minutes and spent the last ten minutes of the period sharing their writing with a friend.  

I wonder if they noticed the HUGE smile plastered on my face?!?

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DAY 5

Grief and Gratitude

~ rdicarne ~ 9 Comments

The last few days have been challenging. I have had several bouts of sadness and tears when thinking about Chuck. His death brought us such feelings of loss and devastation that they say will get easier with time, but right now, it still just hurts.

This morning on my drive to school, I was thinking about all the people I know right now who have loved ones who are sick – very sick. That led me to think about Chuck again. Although my life is forever changed, I am so thankful that Chuck did not suffer for long. I truly believe that his swift and unexpected death was his gift from God for a life well lived. It was quick enough for him not to suffer, but long enough for us to say goodbye.

As I was about to turn into the parking lot at school, “The Way We Were” came on the radio. Chuck and I saw that movie on our very first date in 1973, and that song became “our song.” I can’t help but think that was a sign from Chuck letting me know that he is still with me. So as the song goes, “so it’s the laughter we will remember. Whenever we remember the way we were.” I will try to keep the recurring images of those 18 days in the hospital out of my head and heart and work on remembering the laughter and love Chuck brought into my life every single day. Thanks for the reminder, Chuck.

Eye Drops

~ rdicarne ~ 13 Comments

Yesterday, I had an appointment with my ophthalmologist for my yearly check-up after cataract surgery several years ago. I had taken the day off work and felt calm and relaxed when I left the house. Little did I know that the first exam room would trigger me and have me do mindful breathing before seeing the doctor. The tech did preliminary eye checks, including checking the pressure in my eyes. I asked her what my pressure numbers were, and they were great. So, where is the trigger, you ask?

My husband, Chuck, who died in September, also used this practice, although he saw a different doctor. He suffered from glaucoma, and so he was always looking for a good eye pressure number, and we would often compare numbers. Hearing my pressure numbers was enough to bring the tears that fall so unexpectedly these days. I was desperately trying to hold them back until after my appointment.

When the doctor came in and asked me how I was doing, I told her about losing Chuck and how the pressure numbers had set me off. She was very kind, and I made it through the appointment needing only one tissue.

As I was leaving the exam room to go to the front desk to check out, the young woman who was scribing for the doctor said she didn’t want to trigger me again, but that she usually worked with the doctor Chuck saw. She told me that “Chuck was great” and how much she enjoyed it when he visited the office. (He had been going there for years, but hadn’t been there since October 2024.) She also said, “Don’t worry, he won’t be forgotten.”

Now we were both crying, and she asked if she could give me a hug. Through the tears dropping from my eyes, I said that Chuck and I were high school sweethearts, and she said, “I know.” Of course, he had told her; he told everyone, I am now discovering. He was so proud of “us” and of our longevity as a couple and as soulmates.

My joy today is learning of yet another way Chuck brought joy to everyone he met.

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DAY 3

A Day at the Museum

~ rdicarne ~ 10 Comments

On Saturday, I had the opportunity to be part of a group sponsored by the West Chester Writing Project exploring place-based writing at the James Michener Museum in Doylestown, PA. Our facilitator for the day, Kaitlyn, shared a quote from the museum’s website introducing the exhibit.

“When Eric Carle was a boy, his father took him on walks in nature, peeled back the bark of a tree to show him the tiny creatures who lived underneath. “I think in my books, I honor my father by writing about small living things,” Eric Carle said. Animals and insects were a central theme in Eric Carle’s long career as a Picture Writer, a title given to him by a young reader. “To me pictures need writing and writing needs pictures. A child once called me a picture writer, and that’s a good way to describe me,” Carle wrote.”  

Kaitlyn shared Eric Carle matching game pieces and postcards as inspiration for our writing and then asked us to write about the bark peelers in our lives. Even though I am afraid of being too close to birds in real life, the bird drawings stood out to me.

I wrote about several people who have inspired me to go deeper into specific areas of my life. As I wrote on Saturday in my notebook, the bark peelers in my life believed in me and encouraged me to dig deeper and spread my wings.

As I enter this new chapter of life as a widow searching for joy, I am going to keep peeling back the bark to find it. On Saturday, I found joy in slowing down and looking at the art. Perhaps one day, the collective joy will give me the strength and courage to spread my wings again.

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DAY 2

It’s Back!

~ rdicarne ~ 11 Comments

Today, I am beginning my 10th year participating in the Slice of Life Story Challenge sponsored by twowritingteachers.org. I am so grateful to have this place to share my stories and to read the stories of so many people around the country and the world.

Since my husband, Chuck, passed away unexpectedly at the end of September 2025, I have been blogging about him on the Tuesday Slice of Life page. Losing the love of my life after being together for 52 years, married for 45, has been the hardest thing I have ever had to experience in my life. I was devastated, and learning how to navigate life without him has been so difficult. Going from “we” to “me” is something I never wanted to do, but it has been thrust upon me, and I am trying my best to honor Chuck and the life we built together.

So, with that in mind, I am going to focus my stories this year on seeking the joys in life. Chuck brought so much joy into my life, the lives of our children and grandchildren, and really everyone he met. I hope my search for joy brings new positivity to my days, especially on the really hard ones when I miss Chuck the most.

Please join me on this journey to find joy. I would love to read your thoughts and comments on my daily posts.

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DAY 1