Do you constantly judge yourself, compare your life to someone else’s, engage in harsh self-talk? Unfortunately, I do.
It’s not that I am unhappy with my life because I am blessed beyond measure. I am married to my high school sweetheart, and he loves me more than I love myself. Our children have found their soul mates and have created beautiful families, and my grandchildren are my heart. Then what’s the problem?
Women by nature are nurturers, but often we forget to nurture ourselves. I am an emotional person, and wear my heart on my sleeve. I like to think I am patient and compassionate with my students and colleagues, family and friends, yet I don’t bestow the same grace on myself. I have a conversation with a friend or read something online or hear things on TV, and right away I begin with the “I should or I should haves.” I always find a way to turn random thoughts into negative ones directed at myself.
This week as I did my 5-4-3-2-1 week in review my #1 (one goal for the week) was to take better care of myself and move more. The past year has had me stuck, and now is the time to get unstuck. Being part of this Slice of Life writing challenge is helping my writing life to start to grow, but even here I compare my writing to others; I look at others’ comments and think I have nothing better than that to say. Ridiculous right? So this week I am going to focus on self-awareness instead of self-judgment and exercise patience and compassion on myself. Wish me luck!
I am participating in the Slice of Life Story Challenge for the month of March. I will be posting every day this month. It is sponsored by twowritingteachers.org. #SOL21
Rita DiCarne 
We are our own worst critics. It’s so hard. And I think as women, we are so much harder in ourselves than we would be if we were men. We have this super woman mentality that can actually be so dangerous for us. Toxic positivity is a thing. Be kind to yourself.
And what is the 5-4-3-2-1 week in review? It sounds like something I would like.
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5 Things that made me smile
4 words to describe my week
3 things I’m are going to do this weekend
2 things I learned this week
1 goal for next week
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This is such a thoughtful post. So many times we forget to take care of ourselves. Maybe that is why we chose our profession–because we are natural nurturers. The older I get, and closer to retirement, the more I am able to accept myself for who I am. But I am REALLY looking forward to retirement to I can spend even more time accepting myself. I can’t wait!
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Me too!
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When I was growing up, I spent a lot of time comparing myself to other girls in the neighborhood. I was short, overweight and an average student. My self esteem was low. I just didn’t fit in with any particular group of girls.
When I started high school I was lucky enough to find my niche in the music and art programs. I didn’t play the French Horn as well as others but others were not judgmental.
My artwork was average but again my teachers and others gave constructive guidance.
As I rolled through college, I learned that I had to be me.
After working for almost 40 years, I reflect that during my 3 different careers, I did beat myself up at times. I tried to do the best to my ability. In essence, sometimes it wasn’t me but supervisors, who were inadequate in their position.
Retirement has its benefits. You will have more time to be the authentic person you want and need to be.
In the meantime though, take care of yourself and recognize that you have a beautiful gift and talent. You nurture others! Thank you for your compositions of a Slice Of Life.
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Thanks, friend! 💛
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Rita, this is common for many women, moms, etc. We forget everyone’s story is different and often have not idea what someone went through to get to they “place” that we think is better. I will be be doing more that wishing you luck, I will be praying for you. Give yourself grace, see your beauty and worth, and be kind to yourself. God does. He loves you. Thank you for sharing. This has reminded me to be careful of the comparison game as well.
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Thank you!
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As women, I sometimes think we give so much and worry about others so much that we either forget about ourselves or put self-care on the back burner. Retirement (and Covid) has provided the time and space to pay attention to my own needs and try to meet them. I find that when I do, every one else is happier, too. Be gentle. I love this honest post.
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Excellent advice, Rita… and well said!
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