It’s the things we carry silently within ourselves which are the heaviest burdens. ~ John Mark Green
This morning we had a two hour delay. The drive to work was like a trip through a winter wonderland. That is until I took a closer look. Some of the trees were covered with snow that glistened in the morning sunlight, but others were not so tranquil looking. I noticed that some trees were bending and straining under the weight of the five inches of heavy wet snow that fell over night. Some even had broken limbs.
I started thinking about people and how many times we look around us only superficially. My students, my friends, my colleagues, people I just pass on the street or in a store – each of them may look carefree and happy, yet who knows if they are bending or straining under the weight of challenges? Who knows if they are feeling broken.
Sometimes we get so wrapped in our own lives that we may start thinking that we are the only ones with problems. Not that I think any of us should make light of our challenges, but we need to be aware that all is not what it seems and looks can be deceiving.
Today I learned another lesson from nature. As I go through my day, I will start to look around with a new found sense of wonder and compassion. Are there people who pass my way who need an ear to listen or a shoulder on which to cry? Are they bending and straining under an unbearable weight? Can I be the sunshine someone needs to melt some of that heavy burden? I hope so.
No winter lasts forever: no spring skips it turn. ~Hal Borland
Living in Pennsylvania you have to be ready for any kind of weather. One day you can have snow; the next it is sunny and 60 degrees. I wrote this tonight with the help of my daughter as we had a phone conversation commiserating about the falling snow and wishfully talking about warmer weather. So far, just a two hour delay for tomorrow, but I am guessing that could change.
Life is not a matter of milestones, but of moments. ~ Rose Kennedy
Last night my youngest grandchild, Nolan, used a fork for the first time. He is 17 months old and a little ball of energy. His face was so intent as he maneuvered his plastic fork into each piece of pear on his plate and carefully raised it to his awaiting mouth. I had a smile from ear to ear as he lifted his fork in the air and smiled and said, “Nona” in a “Hey,look at me” way.
I don’t remember if that was a milestone I wrote in his mother’s baby book or not. She was my first, so chances are it may be in there. I am sure it didn’t get into my son’s baby book because I was not as diligent the second time around.
I am not one of those moms who can remember how old each child was when he/she walked or talked or said a first word, but I do have so many memories. Some of them are firsts, but most of them are just everyday moments that are etched on my heart forever.
Educating the mind without educating the heart is like no education at all. ~Aristotle
Today I chaperoned a trip with some of my NJHS 7th and 8th graders to a local senior living facility. We were going there in honor of Read Across America Day. The 17 students spent their lunch recess perusing the many picture books I have in my classroom. Some brought their own favorites from home. We filled three canvas bags with books to be read in three different locations within the facility.
Together with a few parents we left after school to spend an hour reading and chatting with the residents. It was our first time there, so we didn’t really know what to expect. Upon arrival we split into three groups and went to our various locations.
I accompanied a group to the memory care unit. I have a very special place in my heart for those sweet souls. My mother spent almost two years on a floor just like this one in another facility. Since her passing in September, I relish my memories of her and the happiness that was brought to her by volunteers who visited her and played music, made crafts, or sang songs.
The staff brought in folding chairs so that the students could sit next to the residents who were in regular chairs or wheelchairs. They read their chosen stories and then either switched places or books with another student. We weren’t permitted to take pictures for legal and privacy reasons, but the faces of the kids and the residents will be etched in my memory for a long time.
They were sitting side by side reading or listening so intently. I watched as the seniors pointed to pictures and as students engaged them in the book. Some residents were more chatty than others; some were making the students laugh. I was grinning from ear to ear. I think I know now how the Grinch must have felt when his heart “grew three sizes that day.”
I am looking forward to our next visit in a couple of week. I hope this is the beginning of a long relationship of inter-generational camaraderie. One thing that did slip my mind in the nearly six months my mom has been gone is just how HOT these facilities are kept. I think next time we will be wearing school t-shirts instead of regular uniforms!!
Always fall asleep with a dream and wake up with a purpose ~ Unknown
I was struggling to choose my “one little word” for 2019. I have chosen balance, mindfulness, and declutter in the past. The more I thought about this past year, I thought about why I did certain things or made certain decisions. I read a lot about finding my “why.”
I turned 60 in the fall and have been working through a few health issues. I don’t have as much energy as I use to have, and some tasks are really difficult. However, that doesn’t mean I am throwing in the towel, on the contrary. I am reevaluating things that I do each day that are just a matter of habit. Climbing stairs is very challenging for me, so at home I don’t go up and down mindlessly. I only go up if I have a need or a reason to change floors – a purpose. That’s it. That’s my OLW for 2019 – PURPOSE.
I want to do things for a purpose. I want to find my purpose.
I spent Thanksgiving with my siblings at my brother and sister-in-law’s house. I was charged with bringing an appetizer and my applesauce “muffins” and corn muffins. Now I admit that the corn muffins come straight from the Jiffy mix box. I don’t try to hide that fact. The applesauce “muffins” are a different story. They are made from scratch with a recipe from my 1979 spiral bound (cover notwithstanding) Betty Crocker Cookbook. The recipe is actually for an applesauce cake, but I took liberty years ago of making the batter into cupcake tins. Since we eat them with our meal and not for dessert, we call them “muffins.”
On Tuesday night I went to double check the recipe and make sure I had everything I needed. Panic set in. The cookbook was not in its place on the bookshelf. I scoured my office to no avail. I did however find my mom’s copy of her 1950 Betty Crocker Cookbook. It was missing its spine and had envelopes from 1966 with recipes written on the back tucked into various pages. Thankfully, there in the section on fruited cakes was the recipe for the applesauce cake. I wasn’t sure if it was exactly the same, but it was close to do my ingredient check.
After many prayers to St. Anthony, my copy of the cookbook appeared, but that’s a whole other story! I opened the books up to compare recipes, and they were almost exactly alike. The “newer” 1979 version had baking powder, while the 1950 version did not. But what really had me chuckling were the specific directions in the 1950 version. First, make thick unsweetened Applesauce. What, no dumping in a jar of Musselman’s?!? Bake at 350 (mod. oven). What exactly is a mod oven? I am guessing they didn’t mean convection bake! While I think that my baking is an act of love, the women of the 50’s and 60’s really had to love their families to go through all the preparation it took back then.
I had fun sifting through the pages of my mom’s cookbook, seeing her handwriting, and wondering if she ever really tried those recipes out on us. It made me feel connected to her even though she is no longer with me to celebrate Thanksgiving.
The week of Thanksgiving finds me very reflective. Sure I have my share of challenges, aches and pains, and crosses to bear, but they pale in comparison to all the blessings I have in my life. Today I take the time to start a list of some of the many people for whom I am thankful.
My mom – Mom passed away in September just short of her 91st birthday. She taught me patience and perseverance, kindness and compassion. She had a zest for life that she never forgot even after dementia took its toll on her memory. She certainly did celebrate life every day.
My husband – Chuck and I have been together for almost 45 years (married 38). We were high school sweethearts. Our life together has been a roller coaster, but I would not want to be on this wild ride with anyone else. He is my rock. He makes me laugh and dries my tears.
My children and their spouses – Angela and Charlie continue to make me proud every day. I have loved every minute watching them grow into the incredible adults they are today. The passion and drive they have for their chosen professions is extraordinary. They both have wonderful partners in life. Ryan and Krysten complement Angela and Charlie, and each couple makes a fabulous team. I am so lucky to have gained another “son” and “daughter.”
My grandchildren – Just when I thought life couldn’t get any better along came Parker and Emma just six weeks apart. I felt like the Grinch on Christmas morning. My heart grew at least three sizes that year. Then along came Isabella (Izzy) and a year later Nolan. Life as a grandparent is so much better than life as a parent. They are a healing elixir for whatever ails you.
My siblings, their spouses and significant others – I am the second of four (boy-girl-boy-girl). We are all very different, but what binds us is a strong loyalty to family. We may tease each other more than necessary sometimes, but don’t let anyone outside our little circle mess with one of us…there will be trouble! My siblings have been so supportive to me over the years in ways I can never repay.
My family-in law – They have been there for us over the years in many, many ways, and I am grateful for their love and concern.
My Book Club (The Chapter Chicks) – We are ten women strong who have been meeting almost monthly since February of 2004. We sometimes get off track and don’t always discuss the book, but oh well. It is like group therapy. We have been through parent deaths, a spouse’s death, graduations, weddings, grandchildren, serious sickness, aging, and just life. They are amazing!
My colleagues at OLM – I couldn’t ask to work on a better team. While we may not always agree, we always come to some sort of compromise. We complain together, laugh together, and support one another. They certainly make my day more enjoyable.
My Writing Project (PAWLP) colleagues – Becoming a writing fellow in 2000 was a life-changing experience. All of the women and men I have met and worked with along the way have helped me to grow as a teacher, a presenter, and as a writer. They helped me spread my wings and pushed me out of the nest.
I am sure that I could go on, but there is always tomorrow to continue my list. Wishing you a Happy Thanksgiving and the time to give thanks.
Our days begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter. ~Martin Luther King Jr.
Today is election day – a day of duty and privilege. I have to admit that over the past 42 years, I haven’t voted in every election to come my way. I always voted in the major presidential races and usually in the November general elections. It is the primary elections I sometimes abandoned.
I often become weary with all the phone calls, television commercials, and advertisements that arrive at my door during the campaigning season. I don’t have a “winning” track record when it comes to my election day choices, so why bother? How can my one vote make a difference anyway?
Well, recently I was listening to KYW News Radio in Philadelphia. Larry Kane, a beloved news anchor, ran a three-part series entitled, “Skipping Election Day? Your 1 Vote Counts.” In it, he outlined some major elections/decisions which were determined by just one vote.
Congress elected President Rutherford B. Hayes in 1876 by one vote
One vote made Texas a part of the US
Thomas Jefferson became president by just one vote in the electoral college
One vote in Congress authorized the draft – the selective service
Although I had already planned to vote today, that really struck me. Maybe my one vote will matter. Maybe I can make a difference, a change. If not, then the will of the people will override me, but at least I can rest my head on my pillow knowing that I live in a country where I am afforded the duty and privilege of voting. It isn’t about the “winning” it is about letting my voice be heard. If the change I want doesn’t happen at this election then I need to be part of the change I want to see for the next one.
The secret of success is making your vocation your vacation. ~ Mark Twain
By the time the dismissal bell rang on June 15th, I was definitely ready for summer vacation. I was tired, and I need a break. So, what did I do with my 11 weeks “off” this summer?
Joined LA Fitness and began going to Aqua Fit classes two or three times a week with my sister to hopefully relieve some of the pain of osteoarthritis in my knees and my all over body aches from fibromyalgia.
Tutored one day a week at the local library.
Joined the Summer Reading Program at my local library
Read four adult books for pleasure (reading one more now)
Read two YA books for my middle school students (still have one to go)
Took a mini-class on podcasting at my local library
Sent out a couple of things for publication (no luck just yet)
Co-taught a PAWLP graduate class – Strategies for Teaching Writing at West Chester University.
Attended two book club meetings.
Had breakfast with friends and lunch with other friends
Intermittently babysat by grandchildren (always a joy)
Visited the Bucks County Children’s Museum with three of my four grandchildren
Had one grandson sleep over which included him being my sous chef. He was the “whisker” at breakfast as we made French toast, and the “dumper and pusher” as we made chocolate chip cookies in the afternoon. He dumped all the ingredients into the bowl and pushed the batter off my spoon onto the baking sheet.
Read professional books
180 Days by Kelly Gallagher and Penny Kittles
The Unstoppable Writing Teacher by M Colleen Cruz
Writing Strategies by Jennifer Serravallo (not the entire book- but participated in the Summer writing camp. (LOVED IT!)
Beginning to read Teaching the Core Skills of Listening and Speaking by Erik Palmer
Saw two movies and loved them both
Won’t You Be My Neighbor?
Crazy Rich Asians
Bought three new picture books, 30 notebooks, and some dollar store finds for my classroom (so far)
Got a couple of massages.
Caught up on a couple of doctors’ appointments.
Spent a long weekend at my brother and sister-in-law’s home (check out last week’s post) which we affectionately have dubbed “the spa”. It is a place where you can enjoy a beautiful view from any room in the house and almost guaranteed to see a fawn in the backyard.
Viewed fireworks on the veranda with a glass of wine
Shopped for new sneakers with an incredibly patient sister-in-law
Ate delicious food, drank lots of wine, watched Phillies games, another movie (Ladybird) once we got the Netflix working, and just savored the time to talk and catch up with each other’s lives.
Spent three nights in Atlantic City.
Played the slot machines – win some/lose some.
Met my husband’s brother’s family for lunch and a rendezvous at Historic Smithtown, NJ.
Enjoyed a wonderful seafood buffet.
Relaxed by the pool and hot tub.
Did A LOT of thinking about how my classroom will be different in September.
Two weeks from today I start back to school. I am ready (well almost).
As you can see by the bold items on my list, school was never far from my mind this summer. I am sure that there a few things that I have forgotten to put on the list – both personally and professionally. But, when I begin to think about all the things that were on my summer “to do” list that didn’t get done – most of them things around the house, I wouldn’t beat myself up or look back with regret on how I spent my time. There is not one thing on the above list that I would have been willing to cross off.
Rita DiCarne 