Eye Drops

~ rdicarne

Yesterday, I had an appointment with my ophthalmologist for my yearly check-up after cataract surgery several years ago. I had taken the day off work and felt calm and relaxed when I left the house. Little did I know that the first exam room would trigger me and have me do mindful breathing before seeing the doctor. The tech did preliminary eye checks, including checking the pressure in my eyes. I asked her what my pressure numbers were, and they were great. So, where is the trigger, you ask?

My husband, Chuck, who died in September, also used this practice, although he saw a different doctor. He suffered from glaucoma, and so he was always looking for a good eye pressure number, and we would often compare numbers. Hearing my pressure numbers was enough to bring the tears that fall so unexpectedly these days. I was desperately trying to hold them back until after my appointment.

When the doctor came in and asked me how I was doing, I told her about losing Chuck and how the pressure numbers had set me off. She was very kind, and I made it through the appointment needing only one tissue.

As I was leaving the exam room to go to the front desk to check out, the young woman who was scribing for the doctor said she didn’t want to trigger me again, but that she usually worked with the doctor Chuck saw. She told me that “Chuck was great” and how much she enjoyed it when he visited the office. (He had been going there for years, but hadn’t been there since October 2024.) She also said, “Don’t worry, he won’t be forgotten.”

Now we were both crying, and she asked if she could give me a hug. Through the tears dropping from my eyes, I said that Chuck and I were high school sweethearts, and she said, “I know.” Of course, he had told her; he told everyone, I am now discovering. He was so proud of “us” and of our longevity as a couple and as soulmates.

My joy today is learning of yet another way Chuck brought joy to everyone he met.

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DAY 3

13 thoughts on “Eye Drops”

  1. What a beautiful, yet sad, moment you shared. I cannot imagine losing the person you loved most in this world, but I hope you take solace in her words, ‘he will not be forgotten’. Writing about him and your love together is another way to make sure he will not be forgotten. Sending you hugs!

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  2. Rita,

    This so beautiful. Made me cry—more than one tissue. I’m glad you were able to gain some new memories of Chuck through the kindness of a stranger. Beautiful.

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  4. Rita, I now have a 3 tissue set of tears as I celebrate Chuck and your “longevity as a couple and as soulmates.” My take away is that celebration and sadness can exist as you and the office staff did acknowledge Chuck’s loss as well as celebrate his kindness.

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  6. I am so touched by your words. I totally understand your “Tears fall at the most random times.” I used to think I would dedicate a time for crying, but the tears did not come then. Instead it would be a song, a phrase, a certain smell. I love that your husband told everyone your love story. What a blessing that young woman’s words were.

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  7. Oh, Rita, this post tugs at my heart. You’re writing is so vivid that it promotes a visceral reaction. Tears are cathartic, allowing you to process emotions and at the same time reminding you of the deep love that will never die. Thanks for sharing. Bless you!

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  11. You never know where you will run into Chuck. He is still all around looking after you. I love that he told your love story wherever he went. ❤️

    The eye doctor’s office was a good place for the tears to flow. Glad you had a good check-up!

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