I, Rita, take you, Charles, for my lawful husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part.

I said these words on the altar in front of God, my family, and friends at the age of 21, just a few months shy of 22. Chuck was 24. We were so young. I couldn’t imagine us in our 40s, 50s, or 60s, but as we reached each milestone, I couldn’t imagine us not being together forever.

“To have and to hold.”  Chuck was mine, and I was his. We held onto each other and held each other up when times were rough.  We held each other in high regard, with admiration and appreciation. Yet, we weren’t afraid to tell each other to “Snap out of it,” either.

“From this day forward.”  It was the happiest day of my life. I couldn’t wait to build a life with Chuck and see where life would take us.  Chuck’s advice to newly married couples was always the same: “Never let the honeymoon end.” We always did our best to keep the wonder of those first months of married life alive, whether life was easy or hard.

“For better, for worse.”  We had our ups and downs like every other couple.  Some days I would get on Chuck’s nerves, and some days he would get on mine.  Our goal was never to do it at the same time. We always tried to give each other our best, and more often than not we were successful; when we weren’t, we were forgiving.

“For richer, for poorer.”  We were rarely rich in the monetary sense, but we had an abundance of riches when it came to our little family. We were happy with hand-me-down furniture for our first home, day trips with the kids instead of long vacations, and entertaining our friends and family with good food and laughs. Yes, we had our share of job losses and changes.  Chuck had many jobs over the 45 years we were married, but I never panicked (although I stressed a little) because I knew he would do whatever it took to provide financially for our family.  He had an amazing work ethic he learned by watching his immigrant father make a life for him and his siblings.

“In sickness and in health.” Thankfully, Chuck could cure most of our illnesses with a pot of his chicken soup.  When one of us was sick, the other picked up the slack. One Christmas when I was sick, Chuck engaged our young children to help him stuff and wrap the mussels with thread for Christmas dinner. Ours was a “next man up” family. As we got older, this vow was tested.  Chuck would need quadruple bypass surgery; I would have two knee replacements and two pelvic fractures. Taking care of each other could be exhausting while trying to maintain the status quo of work and life in general, but that never deterred either of us from living out our vows. Tending to each other’s needs was never a chore, but an opportunity to show each other respect and love. Little did I know this time last year that the last part of our vows, the part I could never imagine, would come to fruition.

“Until death do us part.”  Almost eleven months ago, the unimaginable happened, and I had to say goodbye to my best friend. Chuck was my person, the one who knew me best and loved me the most. Death may have separated us physically, but it did not end our love story. Today is our 46th wedding anniversary; we’re just celebrating in different places. He is still mine, and I am still his. Love Lives On

From Fifteen to Forever

I wanted to be your wife
from the moment I met you.
At the young age of fifteen,
my tender heart already knew.

You were wise beyond your years,
so different from the other boys.
Making me feel seen and safe,
you quieted the outside noise.

We dated for many years,
waiting for me to finish school.
You were patient and steadfast,
although others call you a fool.

A fool to wait for one girl
when you could be playing the field.
But when we both knew the truth,
to their pressures, you did not yield.

Started a life together,
growing our family to four.
We weathered the ups and downs,
never knowing what was in store.

Growing older by the year,
our home became an empty nest.
Two of us, like at the start,
thought what would come would be the best.

Our family grew year by year,
from four to six, then eight to ten.
You were so proud of each of us;
we heard it again and again.

I cherished being your wife,
and the life we built as a team
Your wife I will always be,
no matter what the world may deem.

We may not be together,
but our love story does not end.
Forever I remember,
the day I married my best friend.