Where am I on my life’s journey? How do I want to spend whatever time I have left on this planet? Who am I really? In my current season of life (autumn, I hope – not winter), I have been spending time looking back at where I began, the stops along the way, and how far I have come.
As I journey down this path I set out on at birth, I realize I have come to a section where I feel a little wiser. I am less hungry for the “things” of this world and more hungry for the meaning of my last 64 years. How did I get here after so many twists and turns, shortcuts, and detours? What lessons have I learned along the way? The sojourners who came before me – family, friends, neighbors, co-workers, and acquaintances left pieces of themselves for me to discover and learn from – contributing to the woman I am today.
The Cambridge Dictionary defines self as: “the set of someone’s characteristics, such as personality and ability, that are not physical and make that person different from other people.”
I have played so many roles in this drama called life. They include daughter, sister, student, friend, wife, teacher, mother, and colleague – just to name a few. Each of these roles tapped into different characteristics of my “self.” In some way, each of these roles shaped me. Part of me is still searching for my “self.”
The name flashes before me –
my name.
But who is this being?
The flashing continues.
With each blink a new name –
Wife
Mother
Nona
Sister
Teacher
Friend
Colleague
All of these titles,
yet one eludes me –
SELF
Who am I
at my core
when stripped of
my monikers?
Who?
Rita DiCarne 
Loved this post today Rita. I can relate – as I am still trying to unravel all of me – even at 71
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What a reflective piece! What struck me the most was “Who am I at my core when stripped of my monikers?” I definitely identify with the titles I have…but if you strip it all back, who are we, really?
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This hits home, Rita! You really looked inward. Nice work ❤️
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Nice exploration and prose followed by poetry is a great combination here. I am just a few years older than you are and feel much the same. Somehow society expects young people to have these questions but we do, too!
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Rita, I loved your piece today. I can relate to it – love all your questions. Love the idea that you continue to search for “self.” I have to think more about this post! Thank you!
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Thanks, Lynne!
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This is so beautifully crafted, Rita, and fills me with a sense of commonality. Ironically, not only our names are the same, but every one of the roles you’ve mentioned is one I’ve played myself. I’m speaking with the wisdom of a woman ten years your senior when I tell you that the quest for self is ongoing. With retirement, life changes and slows down considerably, offering greater opportunities to get to know yourself. Your writings display a special person with varied interests and a genuine willingness to touch the lives of others. Enjoy the journey!
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Thanks, Rita!
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