You Don’t Know Me

When you judge others, you do not define them, you define yourself.
― Earl Nightingale

You don’t know me.
You may think you do,
but all you know
is what you see…the facade.

I am serious.
I don’t joke around much.
I don’t really know how.
That doesn’t mean I am unhappy, or sad.
It means I think; I ponder; I wonder.

I am not like you. That’s ok.
I only need to be who I am,
not who you expect me to be.

I worry about those I love,
those around me,
those I don’t even know.
I feel deeply, love deeply, hurt deeply.
That is who I am.

I would rather cry
than not be able to shed a tear.
You don’t know my story
or the burdens I carry.

You only know small details
that may leak out…
out of order…
out of context.
You don’t know me.

A Cinderella Story

sol Since I completed the #SOL 16 Challenge, I am going to try and continue to post in Slice of Life every Tuesday along with the other challenge participators.

The difference between the IMPOSSIBLE and the POSSIBLE lies in a person’s DETERMINATION. ~ Tommy Lasorda

A Cinderella Story – is a term “used to refer to situations in which competitors achieve far greater success than would reasonably have been expected.” While not a true Cinderella story, they were certainly not the favored team, yet last night Villanova University fit into the glass slipper and went to the ball after being away for 31 years.

I do not regularly follow college basketball, but I always get hooked on March Madness and the “Road to the Final Four.” Once in a while I fill in a bracket, but most of the time I just like to watch and see how the tournament unfolds. I am especially excited when one of our local teams advance. Growing up in Philadelphia, the home of “Big 5” (Temple, St. Joes’s, LaSalle, Penn, and Villanova) basketball, how could you not be rooting for the locals?

The game was a nailbiter from the start, and it ended in epic fashion with the North Carolina Tar Heels tying the game with less than 10 seconds on the clock. Then with only 4.7 seconds left the Villanova Wildcats inbounded and drove down court – sinking a game winning, buzzer beating three point shot to become 2016 National Champions.

More important than the final score and outcome of the game was the way in which all parties conducted themselves. The Wildcats were gracious winners and the Tar Heels gracious losers. The post game interviews with coaches and players brought me a sense of hope. Through exultation and elimination the young men continued to show their respect for the opposing team. They showed that they were men of character and class.

People can say what they will of this generation or that; these “kids” played with heart, determination, and an unselfish desire to win. They practiced and practiced to reach this stage, and their practice showed. It is a shame that there has to be a winner and a loser.

I can’t wait to see where their determination, devotion, and passion take them as some of them move on in the world away from basketball. If they take what they learned on the court and translate it to life off the court, I am sure each will be very successful wherever their dreams take them.

Monday Morning

Early to bed and early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise. ~ Benjamin Franklin

Monday morning is here again.
How did arrive so soon?
If I had my way I would stay in bed
at least until 11:00 or noon!

I have become the queen of snooze,
hitting that button a time or two.
Just a few more minutes is all I need
then I’ll be as good as new.

Remembering I didn’t pack a lunch
sends my head back under the sheet.
Getting ready and off to school on time
will certainly be a feat!

But once I am there and behind my desk
I know that I’m in the right place.
You’ll never see the queen of snooze again
No, not even a trace.

Trying to post a few more poems in honor or National Poetry Month.  Do you have a poem to share with me? 

Perserverance

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#SOL16 Day 31

Perserverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after the other. ~ Walter Elliot

Well here it is day 31, and I did it! I wrote and posted every day for 31 days. If you would have asked me back on March 1st if I thought I was going to finish, I would have undoubtedly said yes. You know how it is when you are all excited and just beginning a new project. But, if you asked me that same question on the 15th or the 25th, the answer would probably have been, I’m not sure.

Sticking to something for 31 days is definitely a challenge. Some nights I was so tired or not feeling well. Other days I was frustrated because I couldn’t think of something to write about, or I kept dismissing all my ideas as lame. Once in awhile I didn’t want to drag myself upstairs to the computer. The key to my finishing I believe is that I tried to take it one day at a time, one blog post at a time. I tried to draw inspiration from the incredible teachers who also took on this challenge.

I am proud of myself. I feel accomplished and am left wanting more. Wanting to be a part of this challenge forced me to create the blog I have only had rolling around in my head for the past year or two. It made me step out of my comfort zone.

I am grateful to the many people who took the time to respond to my writing. Thank you for your words of encouragement. I hope to continue to follow many of your blogs. You are all a source of inspiration and make me want to be a better writer and teacher.

Such a Scare

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#SOL 16 Day 30

Everything worth doing starts with being scared. ~Art Garfunkel

OMG! I just had the scariest experience.

It was another long day a school. So much to do and so little time. I am not going to be in school tomorrow, so I needed to plan for the substitute. It is exhausting. You the the drill. I have a wonderful sub that knows the ropes and can be counted on to get the work finished or wing it – whatever is necessary, yet I still make sure to over plan so that I am not leaving her in the lurch.

After school there was tutoring and then home to freshen up for an evening commitment. My husband and I stopped for a quick dinner on our way home and even Facetimed with our grandson as we were driving home. We are multitaskers!

I couldn’t wait to get home and slip off my shoes. My legs and feet were aching. I sat down on the couch “for just a few minutes” and started watching The Middle. I felt myself getting a little sleepy, but I “wasn’t going to sit here too long.” I thought to myself that I should set my phone alarm, but my phone was only at 15%, and I was afraid it would die before the alarm went off. I could plug it in, but that would require me to get off the couch (well almost entirely off) to reach the plug behind the table and turn on the light.

Instead, I just sat there “watching” TV. I remember opening my eyes to see part of The Goldbergs and glance at the clock on the DVR which read 8:38. OK, I’m still safe. I will get off the couch and go upstairs in a minute. I continued to sit there feeling my head bobbing and weaving like one of my favorite Phillie’s bobbleheads.

At 9:00 after what felt like a full night’s sleep, the phone rang and woke me from my slumber, only I didn’t realize that it was only 9:00. I jumped off the couch with a sick feeling in my stomach. Oh, no! What had I done?!? This can’t be! I woke up thinking that it was the middle of the night, and I had missed my chance to post my Slice for the day. I was heartbroken that I had come this far – writing and posting every day for the past 29 days only to falter two days short of the finish line 😦

Once my heart stopped beating like the drumline at a Villanova game, I realized that I had only slept for about 20 minutes and there was still time to write and post.

I will be able to sleep tonight!

Tension Headache

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#SOL16 Day 29

I like to pretend that headaches are memories fighting each other. ~ Rachel Wolchin

Too much Spring Break
Early wake up call
New student arriving
Spanish class cancelled
Inconvenient
Overload
No preps

Holding head in hands
Everyone talking
After school meltdown
Desks not in order
Aching head
Chatter about basketball
Hard to focus
Energy drainer

Sorry, that’s all I have tonight!

Water

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#SOL16 Day 28

Water is the driving force of all nature. ~ Leonardo daVinci

I have found the answer to all my problems in life – WATER! Yes, you heard me – WATER!
You see I was checking my AOL mail (don’t be judgmental!) when I began perusing the “news” highlights (there use to five, today there are 41). The caption – “Hidden signs you are not drinking enough water” – caught my eye. What are these “hidden” signs you ask? Well here we go.

5. Tired ✔
4. Dry skin ✔
3. Joints hurt ✔
2. Immune system is weak ✔
1. Gaining Weight ✔

I am so relieved that I now know why I am so tired. I thought it could be that I wasn’t sleeping well at night, too many trips to the bathroom, over worked, not enough exercise, or that I had been drugged. No, it is because I am not drinking enough WATER.

I thought my dry skin was due to washing my hands so much, lack of attention (aka not using hand lotion), forgetting to wear gloves this winter, I was in desperate need of a pedicure, or heat that was too dry. No, it is because I am not drinking enough WATER.

I thought my joints hurt because I need knee replacements, I am getting older, I inherited my mother’s arthritic body, or we were going to have rain. No, it is because I am not drinking enough WATER.

I thought I have been so sick this school year because I wasn’t getting enough sleep, I didn’t get my flu shot until March, my desk was positioned too close to my students, or I was just having an unlucky year. No, it is because I am not drinking enough WATER.

I thought I was gaining weight because I wasn’t exercising enough, I wasn’t sleeping enough, I was eating too many carbs, or I was just a victim of the “menopause fifteen.” No, it is because I am not drinking enough WATER.

OK, so I have been treating this whole idea of not drinking enough water rather flippantly, but maybe there is something to it. When I think about it, I only drink about eight to sixteen ounces of water on a good day. That surely can’t be enough. It is easier to drink more in the summer when the weather is hot, but the rest of the year it can be a chore.

My goal for this week (besides finishing the #SOL Challenge) is to increase my water intake. Now, I am not going to hang an amount over my head which will only serve to set me up for failure (see yesterday’s post). Instead, I am going to try and be mindful of how much water I am actually drinking and try to increase it each day.

If my theory is correct, by the end of the school year I will:

  1. Have more energy and be less tired
  2. Have the soft supple skin of a toddler
  3. Be able to walk without hearing the sound of bone scraping against bone, or cracking joints
  4. Have not been sick in months
  5. Will be down about 10-15 pounds.

I wonder if you can believe everything your read? Cheers!

There’s Always Tomorrow

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#SOL16 Day 27

There’s only one day at a time here, then it’s tonight and then tomorrow will be today again. ~ Bob Dylan

So here it is the night before my last day of Easter break. Where did the time go? I had long “to do” list when my vacation started on Wednesday. I was going to take care of everything in my house that had fallen by the wayside. Right. Didn’t happen. Why do I always set myself up for failure when it comes to my breaks from school? I make long lists and think I can get it all finished like a superhero. Wrong.

Don’t get me wrong, I did accomplish a few things, but the bulk remains just where it started on Wednesday morning. I would hang the list on the fridge, but I am afraid it would taunt me as I pass by each day.

Yelling things like, “Hey remember me? That closet you were going to clean out.”

“Look, over here, I’m that bag that needs to go to Goodwill.”

“You who…did you forget that you were going to sort and file this pile over here?”

So instead, I am going to rip it up and through it into the recycling bin. When tomorrow comes I will choose ONE thing to try and accomplish for the day. If I try and get to one thing each day then the list will get completed. One day at a time my friends, one day at a time.

Easter Egg Hunt

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#SOL16 Day 26

Easter is the only time of the year when it is safe to put all your eggs in one basket. ~ Anonymous

Hunting for eggs with toddlers
means the eggs are hiding in plain sight
As they approach each colored egg
their faces show a look of delight.

Each egg that goes into the basket
is a prize that is greater than gold.
They laugh and squeal, and they giggle
carrying as much as they can possibly hold.

A sunny Saturday afternoon
spent with grandkids is really great.
No worries, not a care in the world
Everything else can just wait!

 

 

Easter Bread

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#SOL16 Day 25

There is only one thing more precious than our time and that’s who we spend it on. ~Leo Christopher

Today I didn’t worry about time. I planned to do my traditional Easter baking – Ricotta pies and Easter bread. I dug out my handwritten recipes that are stained from years of use and nostalgically thought about the people who generously shared their family recipes with me. I have been making these since I was first married over 35 years ago.

Easter bread takes time and patience. You must melt the butter and let it cool. You must warm the milk but not too hot. Add the yeast and wait for it to bubble. Mix the ingredients then knead the dough for eight minutes. Then it rests and rises under kitchen towels and a homemade afghan – have to keep it warm. Again I wait until it doubles in size. Again I knead in the raisins and nuts (some with no nuts because that’s how my son likes it). Again I wait for them to rise.

Finally they are ready to bake. The house is filled with the aroma of love. Once they emerge from the oven I wait one last time for them to cool so that I can drizzle them with a confectioner sugar mix and nonpareils. It takes me all day.

Today I moved a little slower than I have in years past. I remember years when I made a dozen batches of Easter bread; today there were only three. I remember when I kneaded those 12 batches by hand – two times for each batch. Today I let the Kitchenaid mixer do the work. My hands are not as strong and agile as they once were, but they got the job done. When I said that my fingers were locking up a bit, my husband said that maybe this should be my last year to make the bread. My reply was quick – “NO.”

My family waits almost 365 days for a taste of this bread. We only have it at Easter. It is tradition. I know that someday someone else will have to make the bread and carry on the tradition, but not yet. If it takes me longer to make the bread, it takes me longer. This is one time I am not worried about time.