Echoes of a Celebration

~ rdicarne

May has arrived, bringing a specific memory of Chuck and a smile to my face. Chuck’s birthday is May 17th; he would have been 70 this year. Chuck loved his birthday. Once May 1st hit, he began the countdown to his birthday with childlike exuberance.

We would always spend a weekend in Atlantic City, NJ, to celebrate, and by now, Chuck would have called his casino host at the Golden Nugget to book a room, hoping she would upgrade us to a suite for his birthday. Next, he would create an itinerary in his head and share it with me several times.

His list included:

  • What time would we leave on Friday (I had to be sure to be ready to go as soon as I got home from school)
  • What offers he was getting from the casino (free play money, birthday money, food comps)
  • where we would eat each day of the trip
  • how much money we would bring to gamble
  • What snacks he would be packing (He never went anywhere without water and snacks in a cooler bag. You never knew when they would come in handy.)
  • what time we would leave AC to come home on Sunday

I didn’t always have the capacity to share in his excitement until it got closer to the actual day of departure, but watching his genuine joy made me so happy (even when I was hearing it for the umpteenth time and wasn’t quite listening as intently as he expected).

There will not be a casino trip this year; in fact, I haven’t been to a casino since our last trip together last August. I don’t know if or when I will visit a casino because it was so much of a “we” thing rather than a “me” thing, but the memories of our casino adventures bring me more happiness than sadness. For that, I am grateful.

12 thoughts on “Echoes of a Celebration”

  1. Rita,

    I’m glad the memories are more happy than sad and hope you will do something for yourself on Chuck’s birthday, maybe get a facial or a massage. I think you will need self care that day. Have cou contacted Chuck’s contact at the Golden Nugget? They might want to know why you won’t be there on the 17th and knowing the joy the GN brought is a way to honor Chuck.

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  3. Rita, it was fun to get to know Chuck a little better through your post, and his exuberant celebration of his birthday. So sweet. I love your post, especially the concluding sentences, “…memories of our casino adventures bring me more happiness than sadness. For that, I am grateful.” That is a great thing to be able to say. Peace.

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  4. Thank you for sharing these thoughts and memories so beautifully. Happiness and sadness mixed together, just as in life – although the happy memories tend to live longer, don’t they. Glad you have so many of these.

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  5. This slice is filled with your love for him. It made me smile. I hope you are able to find a way to celebrate & remember with happiness along with the sorrow. It sounds like he planned fun birthdays!

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  6. Awww, my heart is heavy for you….that grief has a way of sneaking in like a thief in the night and stealing our happiness. What would Chuck want you to do to carry on the tradition in the way that would make you happy? Perhaps a girls’ trip, or a book day somewhere? I’ll bet you will find just the right thing to do!

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  8. There are so many firsts, but the first birthday — what would’ve been a milestone birthday — without your beloved sounds like it’ll be one of the tougher ones you have to face. Rather than visiting a casino, I’m sure you’ll find a way to honor Chuck on the 17th in a way that makes you feel his presence.

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  9. I enjoyed reading about Chuck’s birthday celebrations. I especially love that he had a mental itinerary for the weekend. Thank you for sharing this joy-filled birthday memory.

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