It was Wednesday, February 14, 1979—Valentine’s Day—and I was in my junior year of college. Chuck worked for the Reading Railroad (now SEPTA) as a conductor. We had plans to go out to dinner, but I don’t remember where. It was probably because we never made it to that restaurant. At this point in Chuck’s career as a train conductor, he was working the Extra Board. That meant he would be called for a job as it became available, without a regular schedule. We had to be flexible and improvise.
When Chuck got off work, he picked me up for a “romantic” dinner at Pizza Hut! I didn’t care where we ate as long as I got to see him. We pulled into the parking lot. I was sitting next to Chuck. In those days, we didn’t wear seatbelts, so instead of sitting in the passenger seat, I sat next to him. As we sat in the Pizza Hut parking lot, Chuck pulled out the little black box and asked me to marry him. He may not have finished the whole question before I answered! After all, we had been together since December 1973, and I couldn’t wait to be his wife and start a life together.
Of course, I wanted to go right home and show my parents and siblings the beautiful marquis diamond ring. But that would have to wait. Chuck had worked a long shift, and he was hungry. There was no way he was leaving without something to eat. We went in and ordered food. I am sure I didn’t eat much because I was busy admiring the shiny diamond on my left hand.
Our engagement set the tone for the rest of our marriage. We were not a couple who made grand gestures or gave expensive gifts just for appearances. We gave each other what we needed. Usually, that was a listening ear, a gentle embrace, or words of support—in other words, love.
We fell in love with each other over and over for 45 years of marriage. Chuck always said we should “never let the honeymoon end,” and we tried to do just that. It wasn’t all rosy and easy-going, but we had a good life. We put each other first, knowing that as a team, we could conquer any problems that came our way.
In August, 1980, we first danced as husband and wife to Barbra Streisand’s “Evergreen.” Its lyrics capture the essence of our love story.
“Love ageless and evergreen
Seldom seen by two…
You and I will make each night a first
Every day a beginning
Spirits rise, and their dance is unrehearsed
They warm and excite us
‘Cause we have the brightest love.”
On the days that are difficult, when tears stream down my cheeks in sadness, I try to bring to mind one of Chuck’s tender or funny memories, and I fall in love with him all over again.
Rita DiCarne 
Rita – your love stories about Chuck make me appreciate my husband so much more. Thank you for reminding me what is truly important – LOVE. Sending you a virtual hug.
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Rita, Your many “love stories” are so touching. Clearly, you and Chuck shared a very special relationship and you hold your memories close, keeping them alive in your heart. Reading your words reminds me to cherish what I have today, even when it’s difficult. I wish you much peace as you transition to life without your Chuck.
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Thank you. I hope you are doing well. We need to catch up!
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Rita, “when the days are difficult, the tender or funny memories” are the fuel that carries you through. Your partnership was a powerful one that focused on what was important: caring for each other. You both continue to give each other what you need in those strong memories. I really appreciate your strong story and the details that allowed me to ride along with you to Pizza Hut and celebrate each other as you danced to Evergreen. I feel as if I was at your wedding!
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I love hearing your stories about you and Chuck! You have so many great memories to share. I’m sure Chuck is smiling down on you. ❤️🍕💍
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Love isn’t about show. It is about being there for each other. Supporting each other. Putting someone else’s ends before your own. It is about quite times shared. It is words unspoken. You and Chuck had this.
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We sure did! Thanks.
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There is magic in the simple, unpretentious love of two people who are TRULY soul mates. I saw it so clearly here:
We gave each other what we needed. Usually, that was a listening ear, a gentle embrace, or words of support—in other words, love.
And the dance to Evergreen ~ it’s like the lyrics were foreshadowing all to come.
I’m so sorry Chuck is no longer with you in person. But one thing is for sure: he is ever-present, Evergreen, in your heart. And that is love that transcends time and space.
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Thank you, Kim. We had a very special love story.
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I enjoyed reading your proposal story, Rita. The details you shared, right down to sitting beside Chuck in the car, brought the story to life. I felt as though I was watching the scene unfold from the backseat.
I know this year is full of firsts without Chuck. I hope you feel the legacy of his love surrounding you today, on Valentine’s Day, and always.
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Thank you, Stacey.
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