Getting older is not for the faint of heart. It brings new aches and pains, medical issues, and many hard decisions. All of that can feel overwhelming at times, but getting older also brings new freedom—well, at least it has for me.
I subscribe to Beth Kempton on Substack (https://bethkempton.substack.com/) and have taken a few of her online workshops. Beth sends out a Soul Circle Journal Note to her subscribers each week. It focuses on one word and how it relates to our writing practice. This week’s word was PURPOSE. Beth’s words have stuck with me since I read them on Monday.
“If we always force ourselves to begin with the purpose of a thing before any words have flowed onto the page, we are in danger of (1) missing out on what it could be because we are too attached to what we think it should be.”
Getting back to aging. Beyond my writing practice, I started thinking back to my purpose/s in life over the years and how much time I wasted on what I thought “should be” instead of focusing on what “could be.” My younger self was constantly worried about being a good enough student, friend, wife, mother, or teacher. How did I measure up to everything and everyone around me?
I have no regrets, but I could have been more open to taking a few risks or trusting myself more. Now that I am in the fourth quarter of this game of life, I realize that I don’t worry much about the “should be” but focus instead on what “could be.” I am coddiwompling (traveling purposefully toward an as-yet-unknown destination) through life and leaving myself open to what “could be.” Never could a younger me be able to let go and wander without a travel plan. That only came with the wisdom of age.
**Coddiwomple is my OLW for 2025.
Rita DiCarne 
A timely post for me to read! I was just speaking with a friend today about letting go of the “whys” (like WHY am I learning to play bass? I’m 43, do I think I’m going to become a rock star?)… I often feel the pressure of making something of something — instead of just letting it unfold and play out.
Love the application to writing, too! I so often get stuck in the planning phase that nothing ever gets written. Thanks for sharing these great insights!
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That’s funny. I am an upright bass player, but at 66 with spinal stenosis and arthritis I am letting it go. I am planning to sell it in the near future.
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I’m also a Beth Kempton fan. I discovered her in December of last year.
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I love coddywompling. I wonder too much about what my purpose “should be” and certainly need to think more about what it “could be.” Thank you for sharing. I needed to hear these words.
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Oh, Rita, in addition to enjoying and very much relating to your post, you often offer me new insights and ideas that enhance my reading and writing life. I’ll check out this substack. Coddiwompling is going to be a new addition to my vocabulary. Who knew that I, too, am doing this, especially since retirement. Thanks, Rita. See you soon.
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