Feeling Helpless

sol#SOL Day 12    


This past Friday marks two weeks since I received a tearful phone call from my best friend’s daughter telling me that her dad had suffered cardiac arrest, and they weren’t sure if he would make it through the night. The fabulous medical staff was keeping him alive with a special machine called an ECMO.

That call set off a chain of phone calls.  First to our pastor, and then to the women in our book club.  The ten of us have been together for the past 13 years, and have experienced a variety of life events together. But nothing prepared us for this. We began to storm the heavens with prayers and wait to hear good news.

Over these past two weeks I have only spoken to my friend, Robyn once by phone, a few times by text.  Her journey is unimaginable.  For every step forward they take two steps back.  Her husband of nearly 40 years is in the fight of his life, in a drug-induced coma, unable to communicate with his family. Robyn is a strong woman, whose strength is being tested beyond belief.

Robyn and I have been friends for over 25 years.  We worked across the hall from each other for 20 years.  As our friendship grew, we talked every morning before school began, sharing almost everything. We talked about our husbands, and children, life events – happy and sad.  We shared our feelings and fears, joys and accomplishments. We were each other’s therapists.

We still work together, but are not across the hall, so we have to make a point to see each other and keep up with the news of our families. Robyn is always the first one I want to share good news with or ask for advice when I am struggling with a situation. She knows just what to say.  She is good at helping me put things into perspective, as I hope I am for her.

Right now I feel helpless.  I want to talk to Robyn, help her somehow through this ordeal, but that’s not what she needs.  She needs me to be here when she is ready to talk.  I want to respect her wishes.  She just can’t rehash every day’s details even though so many of us want to know how her husband is doing – how she is doing.  I text her every couple of days with an inspirational picture/quote just to let her know that I am thinking of her.  She knows even without the text, but I need to do something.

All I can do is pray. I think about Robyn all the time, every day. I send good thoughts her way, and keep the women in our book club updated, and we pray.  I want to do more, but I pray.



5 thoughts on “Feeling Helpless

  1. I was going to write pretty much the same thing Tina wrote. You are the mighty oak and willow for your friend.


  2. Rita,
    Don’t feel helpless. You are helping Robyn with your texts and prayers and she knows you will listen when she needs to talk. Believe me, she appreciates the support you are giving her “behind the scenes”.

    Liked by 1 person

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