Feast of the Seven Fishes

The Feast of the Seven Fishes is an Italian-American Christmas Eve tradition “stemming from Southern Italian Catholic fasting practices that abstained from meat before Christmas Day, known as La Vigilia.”

Christmas Eve was Chuck’s favorite night of the whole year! I can’t imagine my favorite night being the night I worked the hardest, but that was Chuck. Food was his love language, and keeping the tradition alive and watching his family enjoy it gave him great satisfaction.

In the early years of our marriage, we had Christmas Eve with my family, whose dinners centered around ham—not Chuck’s favorite. For ten years, we hosted Chuck’s family on Christmas Day, where Chuck recreated the Seven Fishes—shrimp, bacala, mussels, whiting, smelts, salmon rolls, octopus, and the star, fried calamari. Chuck also prepared a full Italian “Sunday” dinner: pasta, meats, and sides. The meal followed an antipasto and was always accompanied by good Italian bread for dipping. We lingered at the table for hours, and the dishwasher ran nonstop.

A couple of years after my dad passed away, Chuck and I took over the Christmas Eve festivities and the Feast of the Seven Fishes, and the big Italian “Sunday” dinner became our tradition with my mom, siblings, and their growing families. We have a small house, and once everyone was seated at the table, no one got up unless it was a real necessity. As the family grew, a kid’s table was set up in the family room. Yet, even with the cramped quarters, there was always room for another place at the table for anyone who needed a place to be on Christmas Eve.

Christmas Eve was sacred in our house. Chuck was a chef working in small retail venues, where he prepared food for sale in the markets. The weeks leading up to Christmas were super busy, and Chuck would often work 14-16 straight ten-hour days, but that never stopped him from preparing that Christmas Eve dinner for our family. My own children made celebrating with us on Christmas Eve a non-negotiable when they got married!

Eight years ago, Chuck had quadruple bypass surgery, which literally saved his life. That year, my sister and brother-in-law took over Christmas Eve hosting duties. Chuck still made the mussels, whiting, bacala, and of course, fried the calamari at my sister’s while they provided the other fish dishes. The Italian portion of the meal was replaced by the Polish tradition of ham and pierogi. Connie and Mike continue to host this night, which the entire family looks forward to.

This Christmas Eve will be bittersweet – our first without Chuck. The Feast of the Seven Fishes tradition will carry on thanks to my daughter, Angela, who is making the bacala and octopus salad, and my brother-in-law, Mike, who is making the mussels and bought an electric deep fryer to make the calamari. I am sure Chuck will be looking down on us, feeling proud and happy that his spirit and memory live on in the food, family, and fun of the evening.

Thanksgiving Thoughts

Be present in all things and thankful for all things.	Maya Angelou

Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday because it is about food, family, and football. There are no presents to buy or wrap, no candy to put in baskets, and no high expectations. Yet, it can still cause me anxiety. Why?

Maybe it is the memories of my childhood Thanksgiving, when the turkey was never finished roasting on time and tensions ran high.

Maybe it is the memories of the Thanksgiving of my early parenting days when the turkey at my parents’ house still wasn’t finished on time, and we stressed over whether our hungry kids would “behave.”

Maybe it is the memories of hosting Thanksgiving dinner and all the people stuffed into my little house. Once you sat down at the table, you didn’t move until it was time to clear the plates for dessert. Maybe it is the memory of the first time we gave up hosting to the next generation. I’m not really sure.

I know that I have nothing to worry about this year, yet I can feel anxiety trying to get in on the action. This year, my kids and their partners are collaborating on dinner, and we will sit down to eat at my son’s house – next year at my daughter’s. And just like that (well over the last few years), the Thanksgiving feast evolved.

This year, I will fight the “what ifs” and that pesky anxiety. The goal is to be present and enjoy each small thing. I am looking forward to the smell of turkey, the laughter of my grandchildren, and the chance for all ten of us to share a meal. Happy Thanksgiving!