My advice to my children has always been that they should forgive. Forgive those who have hurt your feelings or who have wronged you. Sometimes they ask “why?” or say that they just can’t forgive. My reply is always the same – holding a grudge and not forgiving does not hurt the person who wronged you. They may not even know or care about what they did. Witholding forgiveness only hurts the grudge-holder. We can never be at peace with ourselves if we are not at peace with others.
Forgiving and finding that peace does not mean forgetting what a person did or said; forgiving is about releasing yourself from feeling bitter. That grudge-holding and bitterness will become an albatross around your neck if you are not willing to forgive. I know this from experience.
You know that old saying – “Do as I say, not as I do.” Well, I have come to a crossroads, and I need a Moonstruck moment – “Snap out of it!” I have found myself unable to forgive and let go, and taking my own advice is difficult. You see, part of me wants to hold the grudge/s forever. On some level that anger and bitterness feel satisfying, but at its core it is toxic, and toxcitity can kill you – body and soul.
Maybe it was the start of Lent on Ash Wednesday, or one of the meditations on my Calm app, or “The Bible in a Year” podcast I’ve been listening to – whatever it was, I have decided it is finally time to stop witholding forgiveness, stop torturing myself, and release myself from the bitterness and anger that has been taking up too much space in my head and my heart.
This certainly isn’t going to be easy, but I am taking it one day at a time, one situation at a time. Wish me luck. I wish you peace.