#SOL 18 Day 15

Never forget who was with you from the start. ~ Anonymous

 

Today is my father’s birthday.

He would have been 90,

but he has been gone

for 22 years.

 

I often wonder if he had lived

if life would be different

or not.

 

Would he have overcome his

Alcoholism?

Would he have become less angry

as he aged?

 

I doubt it.

 

Our relationship has changed

over the past 22 years.

How might you ask?

 

I’ve grown older and wiser.

I see that life is not clear cut –

black or white.

 

Life is messy.

 

Although my greatest joy

has been being a parent,

it can really suck at times.

 

You do the best you can with

the hand you are dealt.

You can win, but more often

you are bluffing or folding.

 

My parents struggled financially,

and I think my dad was depressed –

his bourbon and water a way to self-medicate.

Who talked about depression in the 60s?

Certainly not men!

 

We certainly did not see eye to eye very often,

and he ruled supreme

with a heavy hand and strict rules,

But he loved us and made time

to coach baseball and attend concerts.

 

I’d like to think our parenting styles

are polar opposites.

While no parent is perfect, I tried

to be more caring and compassionate.

I did the best I could.

 

I am sure when my own children

look back they will definitely

agree they were loved, but I bet

they will think they do

a better job as parents –

give them another 25 or 30 years.

 

Happy Birthday, Big Al!